updated 4/13/00

Yeah, I know.. a rip off from Craiggers - but his show is pretty much sucking right now (should have stayed with The Daily Show), so I don't feel nearly as bad as I would normally for stealing his stuff.  I think I could do a better job with it anyway. 

So here it is, my words of wisdom to take you through your day (or couple of days as you will cut me some slack on how often I update this).  You can even ask a specific question to me (via email - not icq) if you want some specific "wisdom" from me. 
Here is some non specific wisdom: 

So on a whim I took a temp job today. SAIC wanted someone to do dictation and I figured it was an easy ten bucks an hour - and I wouldn't be bored and end up having to clip my toenails and read another one of mom's Harlequin Romance Novels (one to pass each half hour - quite the third grade reader). It had a few drawbacks - i had to be across town at 7:40am and might have to work overtime. Yugh. But I needed the money and nothing else was going on today, so I drug my worn out ass out of bed (didn't get to bed til late AND I thought sleepcam would be a fine plan - what was I on to be thinking this?) and dumped on some pantyhose to cut of my circulation (and create the oh-so-attractive divit in the middle of my stomach that makes me look like I had a C-section) and a short skirt (in case I met a really hot engineer - wait -nevermind). I was out the door and got there 2 minutes ahead of schedule - only to find out that my contact point didn't know who I was.

Dammit... I really wanted this day to start out right so I didn't hope in the back of my head that they didn't need me and sleep would be my best pal that day - again. I was referred to someone else - who also had the same brain dead look and was once again ping ponged to yet another fool. Finally they realized that I was in the wrong building and had to make it across the other side of town again to go to Redstone Arsenal. Ugh.. and it was raining out.

So I get there and am greeted by some chick who obviously knew who I was - she just hadn't bothered to tell her other co workers where I was supposed to be going (my mother tells me that this happens a lot in a company this big). I dont' care what the excuse is, if I want someone to show up on time - I damn well will tell everyone that might come in contact with the person to make sure they know where they are going. I smirk at her and remind her that even though it's 9am, I was on time at 7:40 and it's gonna be paid for. She just cheerfully smiles (can we say lifetime supply of prozac?) and introduces me to my boss for the day. They apparently want me to be the secretary for some meeting and take notes. No biggie... I used to do this sorta thing all day long. Or so I thought that was the job.

It turns out that this group of fashion disabled, short sleeve dress shirt wearing, engineers expect me to listen to what they say and put it in my own words. That would be really easy if it weren't for the the fact that they were talking about whoosit whatsits and the thimagig they go in and other technical jargon - They might as well have made me write an essay on Spacely Sprockets and how they cornered the market on Cogswell Cogs for all I knew about that. Come on... it's not like I am a complete bimbo, but If I asked my dad what earrings go with what dress - blood would spurt out of his ear too.

Not only that, they inform me that I will be having lunch with them and working through lunch and would I mind paying the 5 dollars for food that a bum wouldn't even take from their cafeteria. I am prepared and have brought my own lunch that my own mommy made me (Mom has been doing the temp racket for years) and saved the five bucks.

It was long, it was tedious, I almost fell asleep a few times (and joined some of the other people in the meeting in that activity) and it was damn cold (why is it that once warm weather starts - it's cold enough in the office to hang meat?) - but I laughed my ass off on the way back to my car - I just scammed 9 hours and 45 minutes off of them, and after 8 hours - you get charged overtime. Just wait til they get the bill for this misery.

I plan on telling the temp agency about this. You might think Iam spoiled rotten about it - but I was misled in many many ways... and when the girl that's signing your time card says "sorry about all this" - you know that you've been had.

I am taking off this weekend to go to the boybutante ball in Athens, GA. I am either going Friday nite to a pre party or will get there that Saturday - just in time to get to the 40 Watt Club and surround myself with loveliness. If only they weren't gay :(

btw: check out the new doll you can get - it reminds me of where I am going this weekend

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