Well, its been a while since my last rant, and I feel a need to vent about this latest disaster in my life (at least one I can write about and fix :))
Most of you know I lost my job last Tuesday (6/8/99) and it was pretty much a shock for me and my co-workers, and it even seemed that my supervisor (who in no way was involved with that decision) was pretty amazed. I had a good boo-hoo about it, was depressed, and am so ashamed that I have told no one in my real life (not even my parents though this may change if any of them view my site on a regular basis). The last thing I wanted was pity, and the reason i told of you guys was so that you knew why I wasn't on cam or sad without having to explain it to everyone. That and I wanted job help in case any of you had contacts in Alabama.
As for losing my job: I apparently questioned authority (the Boss) at the wrong time (even though if I didn't there would have been tons of errors to correct later), and pissed him off and even though he doesn't even live in the same state that I do, he felt his knowledge of the Huntsville office was more than my Supervisor's. So he decided that even though he interacts with me on maybe a bi-weekly basis (about as much time as the average person uses an ATM machine that loses his card all the time), he fired me in such a cowardly way as to FAX over my notice rather than doing this in person. He also waited until the next day at 4:30 p.m., instead of that morning so I could have gotten an earlier start in looking for a job.
I would like to think that even though I piss off my Supervisor at times, I know that he fought for me (cuz there is no one in the universe that makes a better margarita than me on Cinco de Mayo in an after work party) to stay, since its hard to find the right people to get along for such a small office (squabbles are so much bigger when the company is smaller). My other two co-workers were so cool when i left, they gave me big hugs and said they couldn't believe it and they were so sorry. Then I cried like a little girl, stuttered my way through telling them what needed to be done tomorrow (no sense in them being screwed as well with the workload), and through bleary eyes drove the 20 minutes back to my house trying to decide what to do next.
At first I was very sad and cried for a while (computer room is still full of wadded up snot rags), and talked to people on icq. Then I thought about how my supervisor would have to actually get his own coffee, mouton dew, go to the bank for once this year, not have anyone to talk about death with, or have his phone calls screened. This is in addition to the "emergencies" he seems to come up with during the day that must get done "this minute". He will actually have to find a secretary that will do all these things for him, and accept no benefits or decent pay. He will never ever find anyone like me again. And then I laughed as I imagined the important papers that had to be done the next day and my supervisor wishing like hell that the boss had found someone else before they gave me the boot ( I checked the papers, my job is not in there.) And then I forgot about my troubles for a moment while I laughed like a mad cheshire cat on speed about the office's situation now that I am gone.
(note to ex-Supervisor: You know you weren't that bad and I dig you dearly, but most of the above is true. Should any of the Bosses in the other state be reading this and taking it to heart as a reason to get of rid of you - remind them that they are taking the word of a "flighty girl who can't respect authority.")
I had to hang with friends that night (even though i just wanted to crawl into bed with the lights and cam off for once and sleep for two days) so i got myself together and was able to get through the evening without too many questions about my day. Later that night, when i was online and talking to most of you guys on my icq list, i began to feel so much better about stuff - knowing you guys were around (weak girl moment - sorry had to write that one in). Some of you sent me your condolences, job offers in your town, food stamps, money (you know who you are) and other gifts of love that made me tear up to know you cared. My Supervisor even sent me some mail that made me feel better (and no, i didn't give him a sarcastic letter back, I am bigger than that).
I was able to get up and get going the next day because of your support, and I even went back to the office to return the Office Depot card I had forgotten to leave the previous day. (The Boss had neglected to make me feel even worse by telling me to leave the keys - i did that on my own). Of course when i got there, the Supervisor came out and wished me luck and gave me a hug and made me tear up again (I was feeling just fine before that - what gives?). I then made the correlation from losing a job to breaking up with someone. You feel rejected and unloved when it happens, you get over it, but then when you return to that place or person, you feel sad again and the old feelings of the rejection well up again. I hope I am past all that.
Since assessing my situation, I realize that since the movie shoot happens in July/August somewhere in Jeffersonville, Indiana, I can only get a temp job at this point (no sense in having a company hire me only to get pissy and fire me and to start the shame spiral over again), so I have applied at six agencies at this point, and plan to apply to three a day until I get a temp job. I am never more motivated when I think i might be running out of food :).
So here are the answers to your questions:
What kind of work are you looking for?
Anything that feeds me at this point. J/K. I am looking for office work mainly.
I have a job offer in (name of city, state, country, planet here).
Would you like to move up here and work?
Two reasons why I can't: 1) I have a house here and 2) i can't get a permanent job until i am done with the movie.
Are you ok? do you need me to send food/money/airplane ticket/gun?
Of course I could use your help (I never turn down gifts) but not at the expense of your own needs. i.e. don't give me money if you are on welfare.
Why don't you come up here and marry me and
you wouldn't have to work ever again?
Like you need me to explain this one. Talk to me if you make at least seven figures. :)
Do you want me to fuck with your old boss?
You should get your net fans to wreak havoc, so you should say where you
used to work and the name of the Boss since it doesn't matter anymore.
Though the thought makes me smile a lot, that would accomplish nothing and get me thrown in jail (since i would be the only one with motive). Besides, my Supervisor is the only one who would catch hell for it and it wasn't his fault. The Boss would be getting out of this scott free. That's why I am not using any names. Just know that my Supervisor probably wishes he stood up more to the Boss and the Boss will soon realize that not everyone will work for the same pay and no benefits as I did without the applicants living in a trailer with three teeth. You get what you pay for, but I was a bargain.
Well, I hope this clears things up. I don't want you to think that I am a big sloth sleeping in till noon and blowing off potential jobs and living off your gifts and government cheese. I am working hard and hoping that this whole thing works out. Big thanx to everyone who sent me their love in one form or another (and it wasn't bodily fluids either). Also a big thanx to my ex-co-workers who are covering for me as we speak from my mother and my friends so I can delay telling them about this incident. And of course - A big thanx to my mother (whom if you are reading this, don't call and bitch and freak out, I was trying to save you an ulcer or two) who will be completely understanding when I share all of this with her, which I will try to hide until I can get a temp job.
I'll icq any exciting (yeah right) events about this if there are any
to the fishbowl